Posted by Tamar on August 5, 2005, at 4:12:40
In reply to Dating novice, posted by asya on August 5, 2005, at 1:47:44
Hi Asya,
I think you can ask advice about anything here! Here are the answers I would give to your questions:
> 1) Is it ok that I didn't ask him to stay
Yes. If he wanted to leave earlier he could have left. You didn’t force him to stay till 3am. And a 15 minute drive isn’t very long. Apparently he was having a pleasant time and didn’t want to leave earlier. And you’re not obliged to ask people to stay.
> 2) Is it ok that I didn't have sex with him?
Yes, absolutely. I think sex is best when both people want it. You should NEVER be expected to do it if you’re not in the mood or don’t want to. And most guys don’t expect you to do it on a first date anyway. In fact, lots of guys don’t like to do it on a first date either… some guys prefer to get to know a woman first. It’s best to wait until you’re both comfortable with the idea.
> 3) What do I do now? I don't think the relationship has long term potential. Do I give it another chance for another date or two? Do I tell him I can't be serious? Please help, I am so new to dating and don't know what to do.
What do you want to do? Do you like him as a person? Would you like to get to know him better? Did you enjoy fooling around with him?
To be honest, it might be too early to tell whether the relationship has long term potential. You probably don’t know him very well yet. But long term relationships are not the only kind of relationships to have. If you haven’t dated a lot, maybe it’s possible to enjoy a short term relationship for now. I don’t think you need to have the ‘are we serious’ talk for a couple of months at least. Since you say you find it difficult to click with others, maybe you could try a couple more dates to see if a connection develops. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to find out if you have things in common, and even to find out whether there’s a real physical attraction there.
On the other hand, if you really feel you don’t want to date him again, then you don’t have to. Sometimes one date is all it takes to know you’re not really interested.
I don’t think there are any firm rules about dating. Ideally you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. And it’s usually best to say no to anything you don’t feel comfortable with.
Just my two cents!
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:537729
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/537749.html