Posted by happyflower on July 28, 2005, at 11:35:20
In reply to Emotional Abuse *might trigger* (long), posted by fairywings on July 28, 2005, at 7:04:57
Well as someone who is very experienced at getting all kinds of abuse except sexual abuse, I would say the emotional abuse is what hurts the most. The pain from physical abuse goes away, in a few days, but pain from emotional abuse never seems to go away. It stays with you and it changes who you are. I was never told I was loved either, and was never hugged, to me that effected me more than getting the sh#t beaten out of me.
All a child want to know is that they matter, they are loved, they are special. But when a parent withholds affection, or worse tells you demeaning things about you, it breaks your heart. Then it happens over and over again, it is as bad as any physically abuse. In a way it is physical abuse because it breaks your heart and messes up your brain.
My T explains abuse as major T (trama) or little T (trama). Emotional abuse over and over again equals major abuse. The emotional abuse you received from your parents is as bad as what happened to you that one night. In a way, it is worse, since it happened by people who you trusted and loved and that is all you ever wanted in return.
I think you are very brave for reading such a triggery book, but I can see it is giving you much insite and I see that you are going through a simular process I just went through. A big step is attmitting that , yes, I was abused. It is hard to admit it. Then comes the healing once it is admitted. You are doing great, Jazzy, it is painful, but I am looking forward when the vail of unhappiness comes off your spirt. You may say, I am happy, I have a great life, but that veil is there, you might not see it, but I do, and it will be truely inspirational when it is lifted. I am looking forward to it. You are a great mom, and I am glad you stopped the cycle of abuse as I have. Our kids are so lucky to have mothers like us! :) Good luck today in therapy! I will be thinking about you!
poster:happyflower
thread:534668
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/534771.html