Posted by jazzed on June 26, 2005, at 9:38:27
In reply to Re: i am on planet Worry, posted by crazyteresa on June 23, 2005, at 20:30:02
> Since your mom's not willing to be reasonable, move out. Stop feeding her illness! Why would you want to stay there??? Things were even better when I moved 2 1/2 hours away from her. (For me not her. She still lives in her own hell and refuses help.)Hi Matt, I know what teresa is saying does sound terrifying, esp. if you think you can't make it on your own, but if you want to get out from under your mom, you have to start thinking about this at least, and thinking about it seriously so that you build yourself up for action - moving out. Do you have a job? Can you get a job?
Sounds like your mom wants you sick for some strange reason. My mom had a symbiotic relationship with me when I was sick like you are now. She felt needed and empowered by my illness, and didn't really want me to get better, even though she said she did. It is not healthy for either of you, and your mom might never get over it, mine never fully did, but you have to move on. You are so young, you have so much life ahead of you. Don't waste too much more of that by staying with your mom.
Also, teresa talked about moving away. I had been well, happy, married, for 10 years, and my mom still needed me to need her in a not so healthy way. Then my husband got a new job and we moved away. It was SO freeing, and I was never happier. I hope you can get out, and then get away. Start a whole new life w/o your mom, and maybe even don't have any contact with her other than maybe letters for a year or so. Talking on the phone and visits can really set you back. Letters aren't as emotionally charged.
Even email isn't so great because it can be so frequent.How are you now, how are things going? It's been a few days since you posted. Let us know.
Jazzy
poster:jazzed
thread:517304
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/519153.html