Posted by panthers!!! on June 16, 2005, at 10:37:21
In reply to When flashbacks cause you to isolate yourself...., posted by bobbie on June 1, 2005, at 21:04:36
Hi. I was so saddened to see your thread here. I would like to offer some thoughts that may help, I hope you will at least read this...
I too understand PTSD, as well as my husband, we are both abuse survivors. First, I hope that after some much needed thought you will consider another view...
PTSD flashbacks can be and may be recurring for a short or a bit longer period of time. However, there is a lot of great information on the web on some therapies that have helped, or are currently helping many many survivors of abuse or any PTSD issues. However, I am sure you do not want another "lesson" in trauma, I assume you have had your share and probably know as much or more about the topic as we do.
I am writing this to let you know that you CAN begin a healing process. I never thought I would be able to come to terms with my issues, but just having someone to talk to, email, or any other way of communicating really opened the doors to recovery for me and my husband. It is definitely not easy and your other health challenges may make you feel soooooo down or hopeless... BUT it is not hopeless! These challenges may even (believe me or not) awaken the wonderful, unique, and very strong person you are (even if you feel differently).
Isolation is the last place you need to be, honestly, being introspective is a wonderful tool to help us become more of the person we want to be, so long as we don't "overdo" it. It is very healthy to have doubts, fears, anger, sadness, and many other emotions that are a part of the experience of being human. Without these emotions we would not be able to experience the opposite emotions of love, friendship, pride, courage and many more. However, staying in these negative emotional states do nothing more than break our determination and desire to get better. It seems easier to feel the pain, because we are used to carrying the pain, it is familiar to us. It is so much easier for many to stay in the comfort of the pain (even though it IS pain) because we are weary and tired. Change takes effort and dedication and an honest desire to want to grow and feel the joy that life has to offer.
I suggest that you take these steps to get a grasp on your emotions, health and ultimately your life! :)
(1) Get a notebook, paper, whatever you have available to you and make 3 columns down the paper. On the first column, top line the heading will be: CONCERNS. List the issues you are facing, (PTSD Fibro, etc). Be as specific as possible. Include other areas of your life, family, feelings, even list feelings (loneliness, frustration, etc.) (you may need more than 1 piece of paper, I know I did). On the second column, top line, the heading will be: CAUSE. Next to your first column, write the cause from which your concerns come from. Most problems have one major underlying issue, some have more, but usually there is one main cause. I'll example in a moment. On the third column, top line, the heading will be CHANGE. Here you will list ONE change you will be making to stop the cycle of depression and frustration.
For example, my paper had :
CONCERN CAUSE CHANGEBulemia , Low Self Esteem , Therapy
Depression, Verbal Abuse, Say I love me and I AM beautiful 5x a day in the mirror SMILING
Depression, Physical Abuse, Daily Journal
And that is how I did mine. I was so surprised to see at the end of this that many of my problems had a similar underlying cause, and many of my emotional states I felt/feel were/are brought on by me and can only change with...ME!
You absolutely must (and if you take the time you will find the perfect one)choose a recovery path (therapy, counseling, groups, church programs) whichever speaks to your heart go with it! You may have to sample several ways until you feel the right one.
When you look over your writing...look at it EVERY DAY to remind yourself these concerns are top priority and you will do something EVERY DAY for yourself, with yourself to better yourself and your life that is so precious and important.
Each concern you conquer and control, mark it off! You can go to the next one! Every line you mark is another scar you have healed! Every line you mark off will give you MORE will and determination and YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL SUCCEED! Progress is in the making, you are going to be happy...FINALLY!!!!!!
As far as your therapist, there are many great ones, some so-so ones, and some downright awful ones (the kind that make you go back once more to actually see if this person HAS a degree! :) Hope I made you smile!
Anyway, I have found that if you call or websurf to the Assn. of Psychologists/Psychiatrists, they can give you some referrals on qualified therapists to suit your needs. If that is not what you were looking for, OF COURSE there are many other avenues to explore and maybe even have fun sometimes. Check your local Hospital for programs for trauma, depression, Fibromyalgia, and many more. These are usually small groups that can offer some great friendships, information on effective treatments, and more. I actually found the most help to really learn to love myself and to be proud of who I am (as I have learned over the years and came to practice self love and not self destruction) in Alcoh. Anon.! I do not drink alcohol routinely, however the program gave me the support and confidence to continue to change. I still go and have made a few truly lovely people and learned a lot about me!
I really believe happiness and misery all come from one place- Inside me- It is only up to me to decide what I want in my life to fulfill my existence. It may take some time, maybe not, once you start on your road to recovery you will see a little light at the end of the tunnel.
If you have any setbacks, it is just that. Setbacks are part of life, which is actually necessary to stimulate our brain and teach us problem solving and to even become wonderful inventors! (Everywhere in history so many stunning people started with an idea. They had some setbacks. They changed their thought process, brainstormed, invented, and ultimately some of our greatest inventions would never have been what they are today without those setbacks! (Chocolate Chip Cookies, for example, were not supposed to be so. The chocolate didn't melt throughout the cookie, it still left those lovely chips in the cookie after baking... So instead of chocolate cookies, they decided to produce cookies over again with chips! We love these things! We might not have Choc Chip Cookies were it not for the setback of the chocolate not melting...Pretty Cool, eh?)I truly hope this has helped you and maybe others who need some inspiration from a person who has overcome many (I am still workin') challenges and setbacks...My list is almost completely crossed off!
I think I will keep it as a reminder of how far I have come when I once believed I was doomed and chained to these weights forever.... GOOD LUCK AND LET ME KNOW IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO ASSIST YOU.
(By the way, have you also tried Malic Acid, found at Vitamin Shop, for the Fibro. IT has really helped many folks!
poster:panthers!!!
thread:506560
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/513689.html