Posted by portage on June 11, 2005, at 23:31:59
so i'm 19 and really confused and going to college and WAS failing horribly but managed to do good last semester and am hoping to continue that but its hard because I'm having what i think are panic attacks but fear are something much worse, neurologically and can't see a neuro for a few weeks and am in the middle of an intense summer session class and can't keep up because my time is consumed with work and nervous breakndowns and caring for my manic depressive mother and just feeling depressed and lonely most of the time. and theres too much stress at home, my mom is always crying, my dogs, four! are crazy, barking, eating my favorite shoes and favorite underwear and i just want to be ALONE, im a very private person, and i feel so frazzled in this environment. i miss my friends who are away at state colleges, i miss jamming in basements and getting good grades and not worrying about my mom, and basically, just, i miss being 14 i guess. i am a little crazy right now, perhaps a bit manic, hence the inchoernece and lack of periods and appropriate punctuation in this post. this is a cry for help, i want to cry for help, my mom is crying though, so i can't. my family is in such pain. my poor dad loves her so much, works too much and im convinced hes depressed, but he's just as private as i am and would never admit feeling blue, i think we all feel like we have to be strong for my mom, and i know thats unhealthy and such b*llshit. and im mad at my mom, incredibly mad at her and i feel awful for that.
woah. i am steaming. this is karazy, i am maybe crazy right now.
poster:portage
thread:511304
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/511304.html