Posted by Susan47 on April 20, 2005, at 13:35:33
In reply to Re: Suze, you sound like me...., posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 12:58:48
I was reading the other day, this book I recommended for you, about women who don't leave difficult guys, okay, and this guy was physically and emotionally abusive to the author, her husband, they're Welsh. Welsh men are incredibly sexy by the way. I've never met one who isn't. Doesn't Wales have some incredible boys' choir? I have to look into some good music again soon, as soon as I'm working. This is horrible, not being able to look for work because I'm having to sit on the fence, waiting, waiting for an effing practicum, I'm helpless as a fly in the ointment.
Anyway, back to my original thought .. it struck me after reading this woman's description of life with her husband, how my father is ABUSIVE. Ding ding ding it's like the slot machine just started raining dollars, you know, the lights flashed and all, because finally, FINALLY some connection was made between my emotion and my brain and I was able to objectively SEE who this man is, the one that fathered me. And I did not like him, not one teeny tiny little bit. And I realized he no longer has any part of me, at all. In fact, he's trying to pass on reading material to me through my mother again, and I'm trashing it all. Not reading anything, ANYTHING, that does not interest me, especially not for one who only wants to control me.
I have an abiding feeling of sadness inside myself. It is almost always there.
poster:Susan47
thread:486697
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050325/msgs/487019.html