Posted by AdaGrace on February 20, 2005, at 15:56:19
The line between love and hate is so very thin these days. Hate is a stones throw away from love. Yet Hate builds and builds until it consumes. Hate takes over Love so easily. Hatred is the basis for every thing I know about Love. Love is the basis for everything I know about Hate. How does one rid themselves of Hate after Love is gone? How does one find a way to cherish the Love even as a memory instead of Hating the Love for ever happening. How in God's name can a woman go on after such an excruciatingly painful experience without simply Hating in order to survive?
I hate him.
I love him.
I miss him.
I don't want to ever hear from him again.
But I do.
Even now.
Even after all the pain he has caused.
Even after all the violently self-destructive things I have done to myself.
Even now that I have begun to heal.
I want him as always.
I feel used.
Abused.
Taken.
Hurt.
Stomped on.I feel lost.
Tossed away.
Forgotten.Simply so easily forgotten.
Sundays.
God, how I hate Sundays.
New people come and go.
Old familiar people stay.Yet still, I miss him. I want him. I love him.
I love him.
I hate him.I need him.
I feel so very empty without him.I feel nothing for myself because of him.
I know he did that to me, but yet.....somehow, someway, I still think in my feeble little brain that if I was with him, everything would be alright.I am such a child.
Such a silly little child.
Without a hardened heart.
Without a fulfilled heart.
Without a nurchered heart.Without a heart..........
poster:AdaGrace
thread:460891
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050212/msgs/460891.html