Posted by just so sad on February 14, 2005, at 14:44:11
In reply to Marriage problems after sobriety, posted by Uncle lou on February 13, 2005, at 22:17:21
When I asked for space from my husband years ago, he did as you have done, and moved out. I had my mind made up that it was done, I didn't love him, and I needed to find a new path in my life. I can't promise this will work for you, but my husband started courting me again - actually in a much more romantic fashion than he ever had before - but in a very respectful way that I didn't feel "stalked", but I hadn't realized how much he loved me and our life until that point. We would go for lunch (no commitment) and he would allow me to verbalize all the emotions and feelings that I hadn't shared while we were married for fear of hurting his feelings, and by the last "lunch" he and I both knew me better and I was ready to try again. Patience and honesty were powerful tools, but your wife and myself are two different people, and maybe she will react differently. Give her space, and respect her need for time to readjust to the new you - don't forget she has lived a certain role up until recently, and now she may be lost as to her life's purpose. Good luck.
poster:just so sad
thread:457367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050212/msgs/457698.html