Posted by missamor on December 27, 2004, at 17:59:24 [reposted on December 27, 2004, at 23:33:47 | original URL]
i am finally to a point in my life where i want to progress in my relationship with my s/o. a wonderful, understanding, supportive man. i should be so lucky. but i have always had a nagging feeling i may spend my life alone. when i say nagging i mean reoccurring and not that it really bothers me. but since meeting him i have really changed alot of my views regarding what i want for my future and my future with him, family all that. (i am 26.) not talking about now, but in future. i am currently taking 1.5 mg klonopin a day, deal with ocd, gad and anorexia/exercise bulimia. i have spent so much time alone, it is frightening for me to allow someone to see me on a daily basis (we have recently moved in together) the first time in my life to live with s/o. i love him dearly and want things to work out well. i need to get to the point. i worry about when i will wean off of k to have child (and him realizing i am dependant.) i worry about someone having such a close look into my life. very scary to me. i have always been a loner to a degree. tho those that know me well are the only ones that know that. kind of weird. i know my s/o does not know the full extent of what i deal with in my head with the ocd, gad, eating disorders. and i dont know how much i want him too. THE QUESTION IS HOW HONEST MUST ONE BE TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP?? im not talking about having affairs or secrets like that. But i am afraid it affects me and he notices and i have no explantion as i dont like talking to ppl about this stuff. web is much better. i have done my therapy. taking one prescript. doing pretty well. but do fall into my ocd behaviours and anorexic tendacy and the gad is apparent all the time. do you think it is possible to have a loving, honest relationship when one deals with this type of problems (me) and does not wnat to address them with s/o.
i know ill get a good answer from you guys.
thanks alot!
poster:missamor
thread:434868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041223/msgs/434868.html