Psycho-Babble Relationships | about interpersonal relationships | Framed
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Better off with 'em or without 'em

Posted by bethesdabob on November 18, 2004, at 13:46:12

I had a stormy 20 year marriage to a woman that was bipolar and an epileptic.

When things were good they were very very good but when things were bad they were horrid. Life literally had it's "ups and downs" but love underlined our relationship and divorce was never an option.

Wife died suddenly 12/11/04 from a seizure disorder, witnessed her have many convulsions during our marriage, they were scary to observe but she always came around, no one ever told me that they might cause her death.

11 Months later Thanksgiving looms, for the sake of our three children am going through some of the rituals, it is so sad going through them and realizing that she will not be with me to share in them.

Am going through what widows/widowers describe as "skin hunger", this overwhelming need to want to touch and be touched by a woman that cares for me. I go out and I see people hold hands, give smooches, touch each other in conversation and it tears my heart apart.

It's tough in between work and running kids around to meet with people. Resorted to an internet dating site to find single women, unbelievable the women that I have met and the emotional baggage that they carry with them, with all her emotional problems wife was so much better, we had twenty years and knew each other pretty well.

It took something like my wife's sudden death to make me realize just how lucky I was to have someone that loved me and loved me unconditionally. Good relationships take lots of work, am 52 - don't know what life has in store for me as far as relationships go, am really scared about being old and alone.

You people out there that are not happy in your relationships, would suggest that you work a little harder at making your relationship work, you never know when God decides that you or your mates job is over and he calls you home.


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poster:bethesdabob thread:417503
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041118/msgs/417503.html