Posted by verne on November 15, 2004, at 10:55:24
In reply to Where's Verne?, posted by Susan47 on November 14, 2004, at 21:53:00
Friday I called the bank to cancel/reissue my designated online credit card due to the people-finder reunitetonight ripoff. I had forgotten that many online merchants can't be trusted.
That night I ended up drinking and taking a beating (verbal) from a passive-agressive friend over the "girlfriend search". Our discussion, which was mostly one-way, also included problems with online socializing. He questioned my motives and basically beat up on me for being shallow, vain, and attached to the world (people).
I have alot of separation anxiety and have trouble getting off the phone. Paralyzed and mostly silent, I was good for over an hour of steady abuse. Later, much drunker, I wrote him an email where I confronted him. Part of the problem is that he truly believes he's a great thelogian and mystic saint. And that's one paradigm I can't crack.
Although he doesn't consider me "saved", he shares with a heathen(me), quoting from one of his admirer's letters that praises him up one side and down the other. Telling him that in 30 years of church-going she had never been in the "presence of God" until she met him.
He gushed in the same breathe about other great mystics - the comparison was obvious. Why tell me about it? Why not just shout it from the street corner? The pride was undeniable.
Anyway, I let it all hang out in the email. This is about the tenth time in as many years, that I've tried to end our relationship - without holding a grudge. It just isn't healthy. I don't need the abuse.
Dealing with the bank and the "friend" took alot out of me. I got blind drunk Friday, massively drunk Saturday, and tapered down to maintenance level Sunday. I hope to steer clear of alcohol and get back into some healthy pursuits.
The search is on hold for months although I'm optimistic about the outcome. I found a reputable "detective" search site that indicates they have current information. But, since I'm in no shape to deal with it, I'll wait - probably a few months.
verne
poster:verne
thread:416038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041106/msgs/416197.html