Posted by sunny10 on October 14, 2004, at 14:26:16
In reply to Re: I am SO pathetic!..., posted by vwoolf on October 10, 2004, at 14:04:14
Colleen,
your kids are the most important thing in the email you wrote. Yes, your emotions about what is happening (a lot! God bless you)are also important, but I, too, am worried about your kids getting into the car with a drunk driver, no matter WHO that driver is. If that driver is their father, he needs to "go back into the system". If he has friends and/or relatives who will help, hold an intervention, and commit him involuntarily if you have to, but DON'T add to the rest of your worries by letting the kids get into the car with their father. And, besides the safety issue, they deserve a father who is sober- you deserve a husband who is sober- if you want him.
It sounds like you are still very angry with him, but he cannot begin to understand how much he hurt you, and still does, while he is drinking.I took the chicken way out- I divorced my drunk, controlling, abusive husband... but it didn't matter anyway, I STILL got roped into setting up the intervention and committing my then ex-husband on the grounds that we had shared legal and physical custody of our son.
I guess I'm adding my own two cents that there isn't an easy way to go about this, but IMO there's no point in therapy with a drunk anyway- first things first, as they say...
Best of luck- be strong,
sunny10
poster:sunny10
thread:401155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/403017.html