Posted by baseball55 on May 1, 2014, at 20:04:08
In reply to Re: Post therapy observations » Dinah, posted by Tabitha on May 1, 2014, at 19:22:02
My p-doc really discouraged me from continuing the relationship for emotional support. He was quite harsh. Said he could keep seeing me for support indefinitely if I defined myself as chronically mentally ill who could not benefit from therapy. That the point of therapy was to end, not to continue indefinitely. He said he didm't want to play the role of a rent-a-friend. He wanted me to find a DBT therapist and move the therapy to her and just see me every few months for meds.
I pushed and pulled and pushed and pulled for a while over this. I quit for a while, mostly because I thought he wanted me to. Then I fell apart after a few months of not seeing him and begged him to see me again. He agreed, reluctantly. We finally worked out a deal where I would see him once a month for half and hour just to keep in contact because I just couldn't imagine not seeing him.
Knowing that I can check in with him is very comforting to me. Recently, I saw him twice in a month and he wasn't happy about it but agreed that, because of my problems with my husband - who he knows and my DBT therapist does not know, it would be okay for me to come in.
My DBT therapist, who, at this point, is just my therapist, is less goal-oriented and less focused on moving things to a conclusion. But she is still very pragmatic. If I come in and vent, she stops it. She is very much about - how do you learn to deal with this? How do you learn to cope with difficult emotions? When I was having a rough time several weeks ago after realizing I had to leave my husband, I actually found it difficult to see her. I would be okay and cope and get control most of the time. But when I saw her, I would lose it completely and just fall apart. I actually cut back our sessions even though I was having a hard time, because I found that the sessions made me worse. Instead, I upped my sessions with my p-doc, who doesn't let me decompensate like that.
Complicated relationship. I went my whole adult life without therapy until I was 49. Then, boom, I find a therapist and am so caught up in the experience that I can't stop.
I do think, however, that I have benefited a lot, though it's taken sooo much longer than I ever imagined it would. A few years ago, I would have stayed with my husband because I feared being alone so badly. Without therapy, I would still be addicted to drugs and alcohol, still be so guarded and defensive that I could not have had friends. I could not have coped with the depression that hit me for almost four years, but would have killed myself.
So therapy has helped. I'm able to understand my emotions and express them and control them in ways I could not have done before I started therapy.
But it's a difficult process. So fraught with intense and unrequited emotions.
poster:baseball55
thread:1064984
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1065068.html