Posted by sleepygirl2 on January 18, 2014, at 18:01:44
In reply to Re: Narcissistic rage is not the same as NPD » sleepygirl2, posted by SLS on January 18, 2014, at 17:38:42
I can't explain the theory well. So here comes the ramble...
;-)
I'm not so stuck on the NPD stuff, but I think it's the result of damage to the self that's very old. Our sense of ourselves, good and bad becomes more nuanced over time, more flexible. We can tolerate bad/imperfections/vulnerabilities in ourselves as we get older, hopefully, unless we experience some rejection that makes it intolerable to tolerate.
I think that folks would like to imagine an ideal version of themselves, maybe it's where our enthusiasm and self confidence come from. We all have flaws, but how well can we tolerate them? Do they feel overwhelming?
Hasn't everyone had the experience of treading lightly around around someone's defenses?
It can be the inflexible part of someone, something that's not integrated with the rest of a person, maybe it's too painful?
To quote an 80's song... "I won't harm you or touch your defenses, vanity, insecurities"
Have you ever hurt someone, been hurt yourself? That it ended up with them/you spewing that hurt right back at them?Part if the issue? can we be at ease enough with our own crap that we don't have to throw crap at other people? Can we forget ourselves long enough to stop checking the mirror? So we can really see someone else? Let them see us. Narcissism can be kinda lonely like that. If it doesn't fit the ideal it has to be denied, projected, etc.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
poster:sleepygirl2
thread:1058883
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1058940.html