Posted by Willful on August 5, 2012, at 12:13:18
This is the week, or weeks, of so many departures.
My SO is going away on Monday for a week in the Grand Tetons. My T is going away on Thursday for his month long vacation, which is suddenly being extended so he can have back surgery. And I believe that the recovery will quite possibly take longer than he expects and that he will be back even later than planned.
Last week, a model I've been working with several times a week for three years and with whom I had a wonderful collaboration left abruptly for a great job opportunity in another country for a year. She may never be back here to live, because her new bf is moving to another city this fall. So I think it's possible, or even likely, I'll never see her again. I haven't found a new model despite efforts at various times.
I have a feeling that after my SO leaves and even more after my T leaves, I will feel terribly alone. I don't want to prepare for the worst, because that almost assures it-- but I don't want to be suddenly overwhelmed by a sense of abandonment after each of them goes--
I usually am unsteady when either thing happens, by itself, and the prospect of both together really is over my shoulder and I feel that it won't be good.
There's not much I can do, other than know that I will get through it , no matter how dreadful it feels, and hope that it has its good moments. And I know that none of this is permanent or a challenge not to be met.
But I am sad and sort of dreading the last few days and after they actually go.
Willful
Emsam.
Abilify
Provigil
Rilutek
poster:Willful
thread:1022759
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120518/msgs/1022759.html