Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2012, at 13:18:42
In reply to Re: Ts as prostitutes » Dinah, posted by pegasus on February 9, 2012, at 12:48:35
> 1. I don't think the therapists that offer a simple service, coaching or thought correction or whatever are the ones that we tend to angrily compare to prostitutes.
Definitely not. Even if we gave it that much thought, which we likely wouldn't with that type of therapist. They provide a service, we pay for it.
> 2. We get a caring presence in our lives from other professionals, where it also lasts only as long as the money holds out. I'm thinking here about my chiropractor, at the moment. She's so wonderful. But I have certainly never felt compelled to compare any of those relationships to prostitution.
I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your chiropractor, but would it be at all similar to therapy? Where we go to a private area and keep eye contact as we share deeper intimacy (however one sided) while they give us their undivided attention?
> 3. When I compare my T to a prostitute, I'm not OK with that comparison. No matter what I may think about any prostitute as an individual. I'm saying that want my therapy to be something different than that.
I'm not actually ok with it. But I find it a useful reminder of the truth.
> I agree that the key seems to be around the shame/humiliation involved in wanting/needing that caring from our Ts, in combination with having to pay. If we weren't ashamed, maybe we wouldn't mind the financial transaction? *And* if we didn't have to pay, maybe the shame alone wouldn't make us feel like johns? I'm not so sure about either of those, actually.
I think you were right in that part of the shame has to do with paying for something that "ought" to be part of our relationships. Balanced with the fact that therapy isn't really something we should find in our outside relationships. It's just got no template for us to neatly apply.
poster:Dinah
thread:1009801
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111220/msgs/1009827.html