Posted by Lamdage22 on October 14, 2011, at 15:07:43
In reply to Re: wow.. the ANGER!! ;), posted by sigismund on October 14, 2011, at 10:09:59
>The problem with paid sex (as I see it) is that you are paying for something that cannot be bought. Unless I am missing something.
This is exactly the point. All you can buy is being fooled. More or less well. The minute i started to feel something for this woman i didn't want to "buy" her anymore. With her "lovefairytale-manipulation" she shot herself in the leg haha.
I can get fake love from my parents for free. Gosh i wish i had taken drugs instead seriously.. paysex is like the uncoolest thing to do as an addiction.My gosh, I've posted about my experience with that woman in one of these "Johnforums".. they are like the most hostile and low life people I've ever spoken to. Maybe because i told them of my plans to quit. Another reason to maintain a safety distance to any brothel. Ive always hated the most of the douches in there..
Dinah I'm seeing one who specializes in behavioral addictions. Well she is the first one in germany i initially felt comfortable with. She doesn't piss me off with my self medicating (that works better than anything a pdoc has ever done), she doesn't piss me off with requesting hospital materials that would give her a wrong impression. It felt good to talk to her.
In not much more than a week my therapy will be hawaii lol. It was a very spontaneous idea. My therapist was like "that sounds like a good idea". All i needed to hear to soothe my conscience. No winter depression this year. Whats cool about that.. i will be there like 3 month. And as you probably know there is no legal brothels around there, so that will be a total of 3 month off of the addiction. Unless some idiot pulls me off my meds again.. i should be able to pull through with not doing it. Will repeat my TOEFL test there and try to get an even better score for admission in cali.
Already i feel different in front of women. Not like "if they knew they'd run away from me". I myself was disgusted of me most of the time. Quite consciously.
But there is no girlfriend in sight as I'm all over the place. Maybe when i start to settle down in california.
poster:Lamdage22
thread:999306
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110823/msgs/999712.html