Posted by violette on September 25, 2011, at 17:42:59
In reply to conflicts seeing pdoc for psychotherapy, posted by g_g_g_unit on September 24, 2011, at 7:40:48
Hi ggg,
Sorry to hear you are still trying so hard to feel better and take charge of your life. And that the dex didn't work. And that the Lexapro sucks...
I think your combination of anxiety, OCD, depression, ADHD sum up to what is known as emotional dysregulation. Even lack of motivation, or maybe it's what people here refer to as ahedonia - is often an impulse control issue. Your impulse to 'not do' overrides your desire 'to do'. Since you have a history of extreme anxiety (esp of the type that can be considered adjustment disorder), motivation problems could also be a form of depersonalization.
Do yourself a favor, and instead of piece mealing your dx and symptoms for treatment - look at it as emotional dysregulation. You could be inadvertently delaying your recovery by giving so much weight to all those individual dx's. You probably had an insecure attachment as a child as well. Take all this with a grain of salt; i am no expert.
It sounds like you have developed an intense attachment with this T-Doc, and that you are experiencing a lot of transference. Is he an (real) analyst? If he is, you would be better off telling him exactly how you feel about him. The kind of transference you are expeiriencing, in combination with your high level of insight, can make for really good therapy, imo. And much of the focus for discussion in your therapy would probably be the feelings that arise in your transference and real relationship with him. If you tell him what you're feeling, he will help you seperate your projections from what is really going on in the room...as you mentioned you were having some troubles sorting through those things.
The fear...i understand. You can minimize, though..instead of saying - you seem like a controlling jerk! for example, you can start by saying i feel intimidated by you..or you seem really 'strict'...or something like that to begin with.
"I feel trapped, and will always leave completely frustrated and desperately waiting for the next appt."
I think it's really important to tell him what i quoted above, and the feelings that are coming up; by doing so, you might feel some relief. Plus, if he is an analyst, you can pretty much tell him anything and he wouldn't even blink an eye anyway. The more truths you reveal, the better outcome for you.
My therapist is a Pdoc too. I had always put off talking about meds because it seemed to take away from our connection and our therapy work in general. Don't have any solution for that other than to build up courage slowly to tell him how you feel. I didn't make an issue out of my meds..i would think of it outside of session and just go in and ask him for a new one. Although how you interact regarding medications is part of the therapy too. But lucky for you, he is older and probably not hung up on medication rules like the younger doctors. I find that the pdocs over 60 are liberal with meds and more open minded, just try to help you relieve your symptoms without getting hung up on controlled substance issues for people like you who don't even have addiction problems.
Now that i think of my own experience with this, i used to wait until the end of sessions and just ask T-Doc, can you rx me __? And i would walk away with the script. I felt like discussing meds at the beginning of sessions 'wasted' the sessions. lol
I really hope things work out for you ((((((ggg)))))) you are stronger than you think, good luck :=D
poster:violette
thread:997738
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110823/msgs/997864.html