Posted by floatingbridge on August 28, 2011, at 11:07:06
I like my new therapist. She listens to me, asks direct questions in a firm but gentle way, and does not seem afraid to lines of query, though she always has asked if she may change topics or ask about particular subjects before hand.
On my third visit, we were moving along when she announced she had a free hour afterwards, and asked if I felt comfortable continuing. I did.
She wants to get a though history and begin to sense where
feelings I have now are familiar and have appeared elsewhere. We are preparing for EMDR work,down the road, if, again, that feels comfortable.Has anyone here experienced EMDR?
So, in our third/fourth session she feels I am dealing with bipolar along with other issues. She worked for the county for a number of years before private practice, and spoke of how
some clients had case files so thick depending on the dx in vogue and who the multiple providers they might have seen.The bipolar dx felt very familiar and a great relief at first. I was dx'd as cyclothymic years ago. I had tried to tell the old (now toxic) doc this, but he dismissed it for MDD and chronic PTSD. He would ridicule my attempts to explain how I experience what seemed like some Boderline features.
My new threrapist listens without any perceivable charge and will talk with my new pdoc to work on optimal treatments.
She was the first person to say my depressions sounded psychotic, and in such a way that it did not hurt or frighten me.However, days later, yesterday I felt awful. I realized I didn't want to be bipolar and had eagerly run form the dx given half a chance because I have wanted to run from my family of origin and didn't want this genetic piece. I felt ashamed and alone and frightened. My family of origin does not believe in treatment. They resort to eccentric religiosity, and being ill or taking medicine is seen as a moral weakness and being out of god's grace.
Childhood PTSD complicates my acceptance. At least I have a neutral therapist who may help pull me into the here and now.
I dig a pony.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:995084
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110823/msgs/995084.html