Posted by Daisym on August 15, 2011, at 23:24:45
In reply to Re: Alternate explanations would be appreciated, posted by Dinah on August 15, 2011, at 12:09:46
Actually - if he wanted to cram a theory down your throat, the most common reason (theoretically speaking) for avoidance is perfectionism. Many of us get frozen because unconsciously it is "easier" to not do something than to risk doing it inadequately. I say inadequately instead of "wrong" because to many people "good enough" really isn't good enough.
The other reason for avoidance is typically an unconscious reward - what did you "get" when you didn't do things when you were younger - attention? help? soothing of your now panicked little self? I'm sure you've read about secondary gains - these situations almost always hold some.
It does hurt when our therapist miss. They are supposed to know us better than anyone else after all this time. And yet, they have blind spots and/or read some darn book or go to trainings and see the diagnosis/reason of the week everywhere. It is my experience that it will settle down again. He *does* know you - you know it, you can feel it.
I'd be mad too - but it might be a productive anger. And it might help, in this situation, to not get stuck on the "why" so much but instead, work on techniques to change it. At the end of every murder mystery, we might find out who did it -but someone is still dead and those left must cope with that. Get past the mystery and start working on how to change things.
And I'm glad you are feeling better.
poster:Daisym
thread:993528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/993967.html