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Re: question on SI comments from others

Posted by pegasus on July 27, 2011, at 8:25:39

In reply to question on SI comments from others, posted by B2chica on July 26, 2011, at 12:27:18

B2C, I'm sorry to hear that things are so hard. I was just wondering the other day how you were doing.

The classic things we're told to do when someone makes a suicidal statement are:

1. Take it seriously, and ask about what she means. Yeah, she may not mean it totally seriously, but it's way better to ask. It's best to say something really direct, hard as it is, like, "Have you been thinking about killing yourself?"

2. Try to figure out whether she has thought of a specific plan for how she would do it. Plans are bad news.

3. If she has a plan, try to figure out if she has the means to carry out her plan. For example, does she have the sleeping pills in her possession now? If so, that's even worse news.

If she is really considering it, has a plan, and has the means, then that's a very high risk. In that situation, I'd actually try to have a really frank conversation about it with her, and don't let her change the subject. Try to make a safety plan, and get her to agree to some kind of help, or regularly checking in with you, or something like that.

It could sound something like, "I am really worried that you are going to kill yourself, and I want you to know that I'd be devastated if you did that. Will you let me help you find someone who knows how to help you? What are some things that sometimes help you feel better when that comes up? Will you call me when you start feeling like that?"

Most communities have some kind of suicide/crisis hotline that maybe you could look up for her. Then you could maybe ask her to agree to call them if she starts thinking suicidal thoughts.

Good luck.

- P

 

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