Posted by lucielu2 on July 17, 2011, at 19:36:28
In reply to Week 2 of T's vacation ..., posted by annierose on July 17, 2011, at 12:18:49
My experience has been very similar to yours, annierose. In earlier years, the lengthy (3 weeks for my T) August vacation was almost unendurable. I have a ton of sympathy for those on this board who are in earlier stages in their therapy - been there, know what you're feeling. But I agree with you, it does get better, and you do find ways to cope and for the most part, it just doesn't have that same edge as in those early therapy years.
Having said that... separations are never easy. My daughter is a little older than yours and will be going away to college this fall. Although she is going to a school nearby, she won't be living with us anymore. Separation issues have already started kicking up again. I had worked through a lot in therapy - the only good thing about those long vacations is that they offer opportunities, albeit uncomfortable or painful, to work through separation. Last year's August was pretty uneventful, but I think this year may be harder. I can feel it already resonating with my daughter's departure. Although I know that sometimes I experience things before they happen and then when they finally happen, it is anticlimactic. Sometimes I feel like the White Queen in Alice who cried before her finger was pricked, lol.
Anyway, I guess my point about all this is that for me, the August separation from T is a mirror of what's happening in my life in general. If I'm experiencing an uptick in anxiety about separation or any related issues then I'm going to feel more acutely my T's absence. I have gotten to the point in my therapy that the yearning I used to feel in previous years has mellowed into a calmer, more friendship-like relationship. I now know, for instance, that if the yearning picks up again or I find myself thinking of him more often, that it's a signal of some issue rearing its head. All I have to do is figure out what it is and work on it and the yearning recedes. Still, separation is just a biggie for me, and it is busy reverberating this year. And it's not even August yet.
poster:lucielu2
thread:991236
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/991270.html