Posted by emmanuel98 on June 30, 2011, at 1:19:58
In reply to Re: update » emmanuel98, posted by Annabelle Smith on June 29, 2011, at 12:04:59
It is +is not a real relationship. The connection is real and your feelings are real. But his feelings will never match your's in intensity. If they did, how could he be of help to you as a therapist? Being a therapist means maintaining a certain distance, so that your, not his, feelings remain the object of the therapy.
As someone who experienced intense transference feelings seeing my p-doc once a week, I sometimes wonder what good it did me beyond a certain point. He has encouraged me to move the primary therapy to a DBT therapist. Theoretically, at this point, he should be meeting me monthly or less for meds. But I can't move on. I still want to see him weekly. I'm not sure it helps to see him weekly, but I can't quite get over my ddependence on him and need to see him. I've made other friends and have other important relationships in my life. In theory, these should have displaced him. But he is still vitally important to me.
He is not happy about this. He has said that the more I see him, the more dependent I feel. That my transference issues are alnost pyschotic, they are so irrational. He has also said that, while some patients continue to need the supportive relationship of therapy indefinitely to feel stable, I do not remain stable even with the relationship intact. This is why he insisted I find a DBT therapist to be my primary therapist, with him available only for support
I'm not sure this transference ever ends neatly. It hasn't for me. Maybe having an end date, when you have to leave -- in a few years -- will force the issue for you and make the ending cleaner.
poster:emmanuel98
thread:989669
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/989827.html