Posted by Dinah on May 17, 2011, at 20:52:24
I've been seeing my therapist again. Cautiously. Things aren't the same, and in some ways that's good. Some ways it isn't. The roles are firmer again, the boundaries tighter, and while there is some feeling of loss in that there is also a feeling of things being as they should be. I think the boundaries might be comfortable for me more than bending them is gratifying.
He's not as central to my life as he used to be. It may be that he never will be again. I see that as mostly bad.
In reaching about for what we should be doing in our sessions, we've probably hit on a few areas in my life that could use some improvement. We talked a bit about spirituality, though that didn't go particularly well. He drew the boundary far more firmly than he needed to, and mortally offended me. Things were dicey for a bit, but I suppose he adequately explained. Still, I'm (perhaps stubbornly) avoiding that topic.
We're currently talking about my living in my head as a way to avoid feeling things, and I have been given homework to do things with my hands and body instead of my brain.
His pet project seems to be to get me more involved socially in the non-cyber world. I suspect this is more important to him than to me, but if I'm to let him be my therapist I suppose I have to let him have his notions.
I offered to do the stupid egg of shame. But I think maybe he thinks I may not be entering it with the proper spirit. :) So he put the issue off for the time being.
It's not the same, and it will probably never be the same, and I grieve for what I had. I don't think I'll ever understand why people see growth as a good thing.
poster:Dinah
thread:985589
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/985589.html