Posted by itsmeshorti on May 11, 2011, at 19:57:29
In reply to Re: feeling abandoned by therapist or is it just me? » itsmeshorti, posted by Dinah on May 10, 2011, at 7:26:56
Hi guys,
Thanks for listening to me babble on. This is becoming like an online journal, but I get responses, which are very much appreciated. I am looking forward to the day when I can get out of my head and be able to help other people.
So for the last few days I have been out of town, on business, it is very boring, so I have alot of time to think. I am sinking back into this feeling of lonliness, sadness, and I think it is coming from the above conflict. Is she abandoning me? Should I stop therapy? Probably not... but now I am thinking am I going for the right reasons? I will not be back in town on time to go to my normal therapy session. I am finding myself trying to manipulate my situation so I can get back on time to go to another session.
I do not want to wait another week to see her. Is this wrong? I mean the only thing I can think of is getting back to therapy since I feel better there. Not to work on any specific issue, but just to go. She is my cheerleader who keeps me strong through the week, she gives me the confidence I need to get through life. And since I am not getting the attention I need outside of therapy is it wrong to want to go just to have someone to talk to? I do not have ANY friends or family I can call to talk to, to put my mind at ease. Right now she is the only person I have. Although it is not a real relationship I feel alive again, when I am there. I kind of feel like I cannot move forward in life until I get back to therapy. I was thinking if she would have just given me the pat on the back I needed before I left would I be feeling this way? Ugh! But in some ways I am dreading going I'm afraid to tell her of this dependence. Afraid she may send me to another therapist, or tell me I'm coming to therapy for the wrong reasons. Ugh again!
Once again I am very greatful to the responses. It's kinda like therapy - getting it out, validation, and possible solutions, new way of thinking.
Thank You for taking the time to read this, and hopefully reply. Right now you guys are my cheerleaders.
poster:itsmeshorti
thread:984799
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/985112.html