Posted by Annabelle Smith on May 6, 2011, at 0:10:16
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20051009/msgs/661691.html
Runner01girl is me.
I started re-posting on psychobabble last October because that was the time that I rediscovered this resource. I remembered posting something relating to eating problems years ago, but could never find it. Finally, I came across those posts again. It is strange to read now. Different but the same.
I am having trouble with bingeing and sugar now. I need to be careful so that my blood sugar doesn't get messed up. I feel empty. It is worse at night and on the weekends and now for me, at the end of the semester, the communities that I am used to are closing down for the year.
So I am having trouble with bingeing.
I had my session today. I simulataneously feel like it was time well spent and also, as usual, that I wasted my time by dissociating and having trouble being present. But I think the level of dissociation was less this time. Often, I have to hold one of the pillows from my therapist's couch on my lap. Today, I didn't hold anything at first, and then held my DBT workbook towards the end. I brought it to show to him, to show him that I was trying the skills that we talk about, that I am doing the best I can.
I felt despair in leaving the session today, as always. But I think I communicated that to my therapist in words today, and I think he gets it. So in that way, I am not alone. Also, we are meeting next Monday, which is only 4 days away. I can make that. 7 is really hard, but 4 is doable.
Maybe it will be a course not of busting out of my false self and habits, but rather of slowly changing and emerging into a true way of being.
I hope. Just trying to push away feelings of hopelessness.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:984691
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/984691.html