Posted by Willful on May 1, 2011, at 10:41:03
In reply to How do you speak your own voice?, posted by annabelle smith on April 30, 2011, at 18:32:02
Annabelle, if you truly want your T to understand all the stuff you can't tell him in the appointments, you can take in your posts from this place and let him read them.
You can select the most recent ones, or ones from the past and present -- or any combination you like-- but if you do really want him to understand you have that option-- at any time you decide to take that risk, which you don't seem ready to do yet.
About suicide, I COULD NOT AGREE MORE with Dinah and Witti-- you will not accomplish what you want, and will put yourself into a much worse, more trapped and more impossible situation by a suicide attempt than you can possibly imagine. On just one count-- that you don't want to take meds-- that decision will be taken out of your hands. So try to remember, that suicide is not a romanic gesture that suddenly moves people who can't understand to see your suffering-- it simply puts you under the control of people most of whom are not interested in you personally, and who have a program of treatment that they will expect you to follow.
Check out Daphne Merkin's articles (or maybe a book by now) about her experiences in therapy and hospitalization at Columbia Presbyterian, which is an excellent psychiatric facility. Not that I think it's so insightful-- but she is a very bright, wealthy, and well known client-- and yet the treatment she received was not very caring or reviving. Not a book yet, apparently. Published in the NY Times Magazine section of August 4,2010, entitled "My Life in Therapy." I'm not sure about access if you're not a NYT subscriber. However, if you can't access it and are interested, you can let me know.
You need to do a whole lot more of the self-soothing than you do. That is really hard but from my point of view, other than meds, it's the one effective method of dealing with the terrible feelings you have so much.Try guided meditations-- any kind you like. Try Youtube, or google or check the Itunes Store for buddhism podcasts.. I like and listen every day to ones from a website (also an Itunes podcast) from Insight Meditation-- http://www.audiodharma.org/ . They have wonderful talks about how to live, many very wonderful teachers, and also many excellent guided meditations.
Willful
poster:Willful
thread:984180
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/984277.html