Posted by emilyp on April 4, 2011, at 0:12:00
In reply to Lost, posted by Annabelle Smith on April 3, 2011, at 20:30:51
I cannot tell you whether to stay or go. But in reading your posts, I get the sense that you see this as a black and white issue. I don't think it is - most things rarely are.
1. I think your therapist is right in that you could go to Boston and find another therapist who could help you. Your current therapist may be great. But there are other really great therapists out there, especially in a place like Boston. While it should be a consideration, I don't think you should make the therapist the only reason to stay.
2. I also agree with the other poster who said that if you were to go to Boston, you would be taking all of your anxieties and other issues with you. You never leave those behind. But that just means that you would need to find someone who could help you. It may not be easy to find that right person, but it is certainly not impossible.
3. If you do stay, you should realize that you may always feel that you are "sacrificing" - that you gave up going to the better program because of therapy. You may feel that your therapist does not understand that sacrifice. (You have said before that you are not always sure that he understands how bad you feel.) You should not stay thinking that he will change (not that he needs to), have more empathy, or treat you as a special patient. If you think in any way that staying will dramatically enhance your relationship and allow you to feel much closer to him, I think you may want to examine those thoughts. I am not saying that you won't get good care - I am sure you will. But I suspect it will be at about the same level of care that you get now. I just would hate to see you forgo going to Boston, and then be disappointed that therapy or your therapist (or both) don't live up to your expectations.
3. I also think that you may be assuming too much about what happens upon termination. Some doctors are willing to have appointments every so often - frequently by phone (as many times termination is due to a patient moving). I obviously don't know your therapist's policy. And as you say, it actually may not be beneficial for you to remain in contact. But I don't think you should rule it out. The only way for you to know is to talk to him.
poster:emilyp
thread:981888
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981901.html