Posted by Tabitha on March 26, 2011, at 2:10:02
In reply to Re: I withdraw my previous post, posted by Dinah on March 25, 2011, at 18:25:08
> I was just pointing out that if you were overinvested in therapy before (something all too easy to do I think), could it be that this is the flip side of the same tendency?Hmm, I can see how it does sound like I was overinvested. So are you talking about that borderline thing where you flip from overvaluing to devaluing? From what I recall I'm generally incredibly slow to change my valuation of people. I've hung onto admiration for years, even after rupture of the relationship. I don't seem to get done over-valuing someone until what I value in life changes so must that the person I remember no longer possesses qualities I admire (even though they've no doubt grown also into someone new). So this sort of sudden rupture feels strange to me.
And was I really over-invested? Well I guess if I'm likening it to religion, I was over-invested. But isn't there plenty of encouragement to think therapy is going to improve your relationships and get you un-stuck and create growth?
Just thinking on what I recall of your therapy, I recall you didn't expect growth and change so much as just a good solid support. I think you used to refer to him as one of the legs of your support stool. And I remember you saying you believed your emotional reactions to be just a genetic oversensitivity to stimulus. I'll admit when I read that I thought something not too far from "oh poor Dinah, she just hasn't learned to find the causes for her feelings yet". (Sorry!) Now of course I'm much more in line with you in thinking my mood swings are impervious to psychological intervention. It seems more useful to think of them like the weather. They come and go of their own accord.
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> Not to say I always manage it. I have a tendency to devalue things as a way to detach from them. And since it's so much easier to detach that way, I'm not altogether certain I want to change.Right. I like how you're actually looking at the cost and benefit of changing.
poster:Tabitha
thread:980953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981172.html