Posted by Annabelle Smith on December 28, 2010, at 21:48:39
In reply to Re: overattachment is painful and scary, posted by emilyp on December 28, 2010, at 19:42:55
Thanks, emily. Yes, maybe no one can ever fully understand our experiences. That is what I want so much-- to be understood fully. And so it hurts to acknowledge that it probably can't happen. But I really do feel a conscious holding back-- like I feel split in our sessions, like 2 people at once-- one talking a playing a role and the other holding back so many secrets (not always even content, although certainly that too, but even a way of being that is true)
>> Maybe that is the question you be should ask yourself - is he helping?
>>And whether he uses psychoanalytic terms or not seems unimportant in the scheme of what you are dealing with. Why do you care so much? Again, ask yourself, is he helping when he communicates with me?
Thanks for adding this. I think I am approaching all of this through a very rationalizing way. When I am obsessing about all of this, and he is so far away for so long, the way that I feel like I can help myself is by trying to figure it all out. More specifically, I took a course on psychoanalytic theory this past fall to figure this out. As I read the theorists, I analyzed myself from every possible perspective. Sometimes I would be so upset and emotionally aroused by the readings that I could hardly do the assigned readings for the next day. I was apart from my therapist during this time (horrible move and long story) and all I could do was long for my therapist as I read about all of this. I wanted to share it all with him and wanted him to help me sort the confusion. I began to imagine what perspective he holds and what he thinks is wrong with me. I think that is why I care about psychoanalytic terms so much.
In a way, after all of this, in my mind, I feel dismissed not heard if he doesn't talk this way with me, because it is how I have been thinking for all of this time.
Actually, emily, I don't even know what it would mean to be helped by him. I think I have been wanting him to give me an "answer"-- which he will not readily do, and I should appreciate that. I don't even know what kind of goal I should want, what it means to be helped. To feel better, but I am not exactly sure what that would be like. I don't know what it is supposed to feel like to feel better. It feels like a mess.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:975058
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101228/msgs/975099.html