Posted by mystickangaroo on December 27, 2010, at 17:02:44
In reply to Already back, posted by Annabelle Smith on December 27, 2010, at 15:38:30
> My Babblebreak didn't last long. I already needed to come back. I need the support right now from you guys. I was getting support through email conversations with a group called the Samaritans.
>
> It was really helpful and enabled me to get through the past few days during the holidays and away from my therapist. But I have written too much to them. Their last response was short and I could tell, trying to wrap it up. I really opened up my heart and told them some honest things in my last email to them; I think I am really bad because their response was exactly what I would expect, though not hope for. Basically, it seemed dismissive-- we hear you are in pain and are struggling; these questions of meaning, self, God, and truth are things that everybody wrestles with (i.e. you are no different and aren't really suffering, you are just going through a "phase").> Annabelle you are reading a whole other meaning from what I am reading. What I see is somebody trying to affirm the reality of your feeings. The depth of them. And the universality of them. So it is not just you ~ something distintively "wrong" with you. The pain you feel is The Universal Pain. And it DOES HURT. ALOT.
> I relied upon typing to them my heart every day. And now that is gone. Their last response was this:
> "Sharing emotions and feelings with others and trying to understand why you are affected by them can be helpful."What is stopping you emailing them again??
Nobody believes me.
Babblers believe you. And no not because we all have a diagnosis....... We are human and in Pain too.
Everyone expects me to do this all alone. I feel cosmically alone.A thought. Could you write to your T? I know he is on holidays but somehow I find it helpful. Sometimes I share what I have written sometimes I don't. My T encourages me too as it strenghtens the sense of connection. That we don't have to be in the same room for the relationhsip to "work". and I don't feel so abandoned. It has been good for me.
I am having a guess here but I wonder if the Samaritans meant talking with your T.
>
> Does everybody feel this way? Am I (or those of us on here) different? yet, I feel like I have no reason to feel wrong.
Also, I am so obsessed and attached to my therapist. He doesn't know that it is to such a high degree. I feel so lost and chaotic.>
> I wish someone could help me and save me.You are doing a good job of looking after yourself. I know it doesn't feel like it but you are. You are looking for help. And you are getting it. It may not be coming in the form you like or expect but it is there for you. Just as you are.
poster:mystickangaroo
thread:974904
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/974921.html