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Re: starting new T search: T #1

Posted by Willful on August 20, 2010, at 11:51:14

It's a privilege to be able to contribute to your T search, pegasus.

I"ve had to change Ts a few times. I've found that it can help to see new people more than once. If there's a connection, but you're not sure if it's right-- for example, if he's too distant or not as revealing about himself, it might be an effect of both of you being a bit tense about the newness or uncertainty-- So, if none of the other candidates seems like a good fit and you find yourself still thinking about him, you could ask for a second consultation.

It's great that you're talking to several Ts. Seeing someone you're comfortable with-- is so important. I saw several Ts before I started seeing my current T, and there was something about him that just felt so right, that even though the others were highly qualified and I'm sure very good Ts, I knew that he was the right one for me at the time.

Which one you choose depends a lot on what you're dealing with-- there's nothing wrong with seeing only men. I mostly interviewed men too. Some women prefer women, but while I can talk to either a man or a woman, I've always been closer to my father. And for some reason, I felt like I needed a man. I would go with your instincts-- and use logic and reasoning second, to make sure you're not making some sort of mistaken choice. Sometimes you know someone isn't right, but you're drawn to them anyway-- and in those cases, I would try to stay away. I've had those situations and my instincts have always proven correct in the long run.

Good luck!

Willful

 

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poster:Willful thread:959231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100706/msgs/959235.html