Posted by rnny on May 17, 2010, at 13:36:22
In reply to Hate living with low/no libido, posted by alchemy on May 14, 2010, at 21:07:05
Sexual desire is normal but there is nothing wrong if the desire is not one big raging ball of fire. Remember, you need something to turn you on. If there is nothing around that suits your fancy, the natural desire for sex may not be in full swing.
Without outside stimulation, the coals start to go out. There is nothing in any literature that says a woman has to walk around turned on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Just like hunger, one's level of hunger is not the same as the person sitting next to them. For some a sandwhich for lunch will do. For others, they want a super-size meal and then leave with a refill in their soda cup for on the way back to the office. The complete absence of a sex drive could indicate a problem but a low sex drive isn't necessarily pathological. Your issue however is that you want to feel that really turned on feeling and experience it and enjoy it. Without a partner, that is not going to happen. Masturbation can bring about some likeness to the 'real thing' but what you are talking about is a desire for the real thing. I am not a mental health professional but my guess would be your sex drive is fine and that working on connecting with others (as I am) is where some effort will pay off between the sheets. When you feel desired by someone else, that in itself is a turn on. And enabling yourself to feel sexy to someone takes some getting close to others. Therein for some is where the struggle takes place. You said you shy away from relationships and if I was you, I would start working on that. Become great at relationships and the sex will follow. Gosh, it's really easy to give 'advice'.............quite another to be my own guru.
poster:rnny
thread:947459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100425/msgs/947682.html