Posted by fleeting flutterby on January 28, 2010, at 17:10:07
In reply to babsitter with 'mental health diagnosis', posted by pegasus on January 27, 2010, at 12:30:09
> I was recently told by a third party, after promising to keep everything in strict confidence, that a babysitter I use regularly has a mental health diagnosis. It was suggested that it might be Bipolar II or perhaps Borderline Personality Disorder, but I don't know for sure.<<
----flutterby: First I must say-- this triggers me beyond trigger!!! YIPES! but feel I must say something in order to perhaps keep your daughter from any harm. Ok-- now, just because someone has a diagnosis doens't mean squat-- what really matters is their behavior and thinking, when caring for other's children. I don't think it's fair to condemn a person over a diagnosis(akin to "witch hunts" to me)
>Apparently, certain official people have told her that she shouldn't be babysitting.<<
---flutterby:-- THIS^^^ is of concern though. I wonder on what grounds have "official" people said she shouldn't be babysitting..??..
> Now, I'm not supposed to know this information, and I've been told that no one will tell me anything more than this. Plus, since I promised to keep it all secret, I can't talk to the babysitter directly, without pissing off the third party, and getting them into trouble.<<flutterby: I like Verloren's suggestions-- nanny-cam, talking with your daughter, tape recorder... and talk to the other parents...
> My experience of the babysitter (over the past 2 years) is that she's wonderful with kids, and always responsible and attentive. Much more so than any other babysitter I've ever used. The kids absolutely love her.<<--flutterby: Oh boy-- here are my triggers!! :o(
All the parents thought my mom was some special magician with kids. and the kids all acted like they loved her too. but once the parents left and the doors closed.... it was a whole other world.... :o( .... especially in the morning and early afternoon(and mostly with those 2 years and younger).... later she would get the kids all cheered up about an hour or so before their parents came... and tada--- happy kids, ignorant parents..... My mom would choose the most sensitive/introverted child to be the most abused-- since they tend to be more quiet and don't usually fight back...... Maybe you could ask your daughter if she notices any one kid crying a lot, ask her how she thinks the babysitter feels about each kid...> As a person with a diagnosis myself, I tend to be less concerned about mental health diagnoses than the third party. And I figure I might know her better than the officials that are saying she shouldn't be babysitting. My guess is that they're using some kind of protocol (versus real knowledge of her as a person) when recommending that she shouldn't babysit. <<
----flutterby-- I so hope and wish that you are correct and the officials are just being overly cautious. I hope I hope.... for your duaghter's sake.
> would you continue to have her babysit? Or is it irresponsible of me to even consider it?
>
> peg----flutterby: due to my trauma I NEVER had a babysitter for my kids... Never..... but you are not me and you have different experiences and different comfort levels.
phew-- this was very difficult for me to be on this post.... but, i so want to keep your daughter safe. Please-- let her be safe.
You are a great mom to be seeking answers for this-- I wish you the best.flutterby.... gotta go.... breathe.... breathe.... ........
poster:fleeting flutterby
thread:935139
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100128/msgs/935247.html