Posted by Verloren on January 19, 2010, at 22:37:02
I want to appreciate my T, but Im also paranoid and nervously waiting for her to terminate me as her patient. Today I discovered some things that make me feel like termination is on the near horizon.
Im not supposed to see her while in the IOP, but I could not deal with the fact that she had not called to check on me since I went in. Esp, when I am in such an unbalanced state right now. So I left her a message to call me.
When she called we talked for a while about how I was upset with the IO program and with her. Then we got on the subject of her possibly terminating me and she said some VERY eye-opening things that really lead me to believe it will happen.
1.
T: Just because you have a good personal relationship with someone doesnt mean they are the best person to treat you.-I know this. I dont think our relationship is overly great, but I had asked her before if she was comfortable working with my set of issues and twice she confirmed that she was.
2.
T: You have problems with substance abuse and I absolutely do not work with clients with substance abuse issues.
Me: WHAT?! What substance abuse
T: Your drinking
Me: Youre calling ONE glass of wine at night, substance abuse?!!!!
T: I have a voice-message where you sounded very inebriated and you mentioned how youre an adult and you will drink if you want to.-So, I believe she is over-exaggerating this substance abuse issue, because I have never called her drunk. I was crying and upset; not drunk. Never drunk. How could she even say something like that. I told her I dont get drunk and did not call her while drunk and she said I was in denial. WTHeck!!! Is she going to make up issues for me just to say she doesnt work with them and then send me packing? How the heck should I handle this?
3.
Before, I had trouble working with the pdoc they have on staff there. The pdoc is always very, very late and then unapologetic about it. We dont mesh well. So my T then OFFERED to have me see a different pdoc she knew. Then today she says,T: I just dont see any way we can work together if you have to see a psychiatrist outside of the office. Its just not possible.
Me: But you said before that I could see someone else?!! Why are you changing it up now? Why are you being inconsistent?
T: With the amount of communication needed, its just not possible.-So shes either a liar or a bit** or both. I am pissed. And now Im in this program that I hate all because she couldnt handle me.
And I am confused. She kept saying that if she intended to terminate me she would have never done all the extra stuff she did for me, never.She said that she has been too flexible with me and that has probably made things worse. Then she said we should check in on the phone once a week since I cant see her while in the program.
I really feel like she is playing with my mind and it is fragile enough as it is. I do not need to have a therapist screwing around with it even more. At one point I was so upset I dropped the phone and started sobbing heavily.
How can I handle this? Technically I should just concentrate on this IO program but I cant help but think about her too.
-Verloren
poster:Verloren
thread:934415
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/934415.html