Posted by lingonberry on December 16, 2009, at 11:34:45
In reply to Re: T acts clinical, posted by southernsky on December 15, 2009, at 9:52:22
> Deerock,
>
> I'm also female with a male T who is the same age as my father would be. I never got angry with my father but should have, instead, I feel sorry for him and his life. I feel anger towards my mother but have had problems most of my life even feeling angry with people in general. Thats not good or healthy. Anger must be experienced and felt, not blocked or twisted to feeling sympathy for someone who has abused you, thinking they were in so much pain they were suffering so much and couldn't help it.OMG! Is it me whos talking or what? Apparently, we have the same background and are struggling with same issues - anger versus feeling sorry for the abuser. Spooky!
> So this is good-funny you said that because I feel like the deficient one not having anger towards my father, towards T. My T even said that I should be angry, but I don't yet. but I also may have not been in therapy as long as you.Also my T doesn't sound as analytical as yours and like Ligonberry's T-we laugh and joke. I don't think I could handle a purely psychoanalytical T right now, mine is more eclectic.
Thats the flip side of the coin some are very angry and acts on those feelings, others, like me, feeling guilty abut them.. I have difficulties with peoples behaviour, see trough their acting, their innocent face, that they (consciously or unconsciously, it doesnt matter) act a certain way to provoke guilt in me so they can get rid of theirs. I react at my instincts but Im not used to listening and acting on them. I was never allowed to show anger to my mom, only she was.
> I think not feeling anger is a defense, not sure, but I think it will eentually happen and I hope it does.Yeah, it surely is. But now Im able to, and so will you probably when you are feeling less guilt.
Bye!(((Southernsky)))
Lingonberry
poster:lingonberry
thread:928778
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929553.html