Posted by deerock on October 4, 2009, at 19:49:26
i had an insight this weekend, that living in the area where i grew up and close to my parents and being connected to them is preventing me from growing in ways that would be helpful and fulfilling to me. my parents were pretty abusive when i was younger and i remained close to them most of my adult life. i still hold many beliefs about myself which were formed during the difficult years i had with my parents. i find it hard to let go of many of these beliefs and my close relationship with them seems to keep me locked in this role as a bad person, always causing problems and not being very capable.
i know these things are not true but i feel that my attachement to my parents is very strong and deep and in part, keeps me locked in to these beliefs. many people i grew up with are now married and being single, i feel like my mom still has my heart. this is strange to say and may or may not be true...but i feel like this is where i need to grow. and since i am 34...i think now is the time.
i will talk to my T about this tomorrow at our session. i really feel like it may be time to look seriously into moving away.
wondering how others may have gotten over their attachment to their parents when it was toxic...and if it was possible to overcome without moving away.
i own my own condo, im in grad school...and moving now would be tough...so in some ways, maybe its better not to...but growing and healing is very important to me...and i cant help but wonder if getting away from where i grew up and my parents would be extremely helpful in the healing process.
many people who know me well often tell me "dee, you need to get away from your parents!!"
maybe they are right?
poster:deerock
thread:919724
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/919724.html