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Re: Still getting post session migraines and trigger » FindingMyDesire

Posted by Dinah on May 12, 2009, at 8:03:53

In reply to Re: Still getting post session migraines and trigger, posted by FindingMyDesire on May 11, 2009, at 23:37:23

Fourteen years of therapy relationship.

My therapist always tries to reassure me about things by reminding him I will survive. I always remind *him* that that's the problem. It's the surviving I'm afraid of.

So I totally recognize and understand your feelings, and your fear that she will abandon you again. Even if she did come back, as mine did. It does occur to me that it would be easier for her if she managed to see a few clients earlier than three months. I know I was doing at least a few things within a week or two, the things that really couldn't be put off. And a friend of mine got calls in the labor room about work. But I suppose her job involves being sane, and not overly emotional, while mine didn't matter if I was sobbing while I worked.

I suppose there are two things that mitigate the fear a bit. My father died. Our relationship might not have been perfect, but he was interwoven into every aspect of my life. His loss hurts so much, yet it gets more bearable over time. And the other was that Katrina was soooo disruptive in general to people's lives. At the time all of us needed support most, we were surrounded with people who were just as screwed up and overwhelmed and traumatized as we were. Or worse. So part of the anger with him is displaced to the situation in general. Especially since it was clear he handled it worse than I did.

The pain of the migraines isn't so bad now that I have Frova. And I was fortunate that I never got the sort that landed me in the hospital. Every few years, I may get one bad enough to cry and suspect that this one will kill me. But in comparison with others, I'm lucky. Unfortunately, the frova only works on the headache. I still am left feeling heavy and mildly nauseous. They come in groups, though. A month or two ago I noticed I hadn't had any for a while. Then comes a period where every change in the barometer, flash of light, or emotional upset gives me one. In addition to those, I could swear I'm now getting them from my head position when I sleep, and I've had to remove all pillows except the very bottom of my sleep wedge.

I suppose I'm just surprised that therapy still counts as an emotional upset. Maybe dissociation is a trigger all by itself.

 

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