Posted by seldomseen on April 2, 2009, at 20:07:39
In reply to Is Healing Really Possible? csa trigger**, posted by antigua3 on April 2, 2009, at 14:19:23
I used to believe that there was no getting over or "moving on" from CSA. That there was just moving with it. Somehow absorbing it and adapting.
I no longer believe that. I'm convinced that wound can be healed. I think our trust can ultimately be earned and we can return to our childlike selves again.
I think the kind of therapy that helps the most is relationship-based therapy. The relationship with the therapist is what is healing. If for no other reason than we learn that there is safety to be had. Unfortunately, though I have no evidence of this, I suspect that is the longest course of therapy and the most painful.
It took me 8 years to learn that there was nothing to fear from my therapist. 8 long years filled with rupture and repair. It took a tremendous amount of courage and energy from me to continue.
But now I feel that gaping wound closing as I open to the relationship. I feel like a child must feel in the presence of stable, benign parents when I'm with my T. As a result I feel more stable, more confident out in the adult world.
Instead of running away from upsets, I feel as though I have people to run to. From an outsider looking in, it's been an amazing transformation. One I didn't think was possible for me at all.
I do still grieve for my childhood occasionally and it's an old familiar sadness. It contrasts starkly with the warmth and quiet I am now capable of feeling. I've come to a place where there is not simply the absence of pain, but the presence of good.
So yeah, if my journey is illustrative in any way, then healing is most definately possible.
I'm convinced there is a whole world out there for me yet, and I bet there is one for you too antigua.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:888235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/888328.html