Posted by yellowbird01 on March 24, 2009, at 18:52:16
Since starting with my "new" T a few months ago, things have gotten really stirred up for me. I've been in therapy for years, but this is the first time in a long time that its been real therapy, real work. It's hard!
I experienced a lot of neglect from my parents in my childhood... emotional, medical, and in some ways, physical. I cant say I really experienced abuse in any way... all of the problems of my childhood were caused by things NOT being done, things being ignored. One thing I still struggle with today is what my T calls minimizing. I was never hit, never touched inappropriately... so how bad could it have been? The rational part of me knows that it was PLENTY bad. The professional in me (I work in child welfare) knows that neglect is just as bad as abuse in the life of a child. The effects are just as enduring and traumatic. But I constantly feel like maybe I'm making it all up, making a big deal over nothing, etc. Maybe I was just spoiled and angry I didnt get everything I wanted all the time. I dont know. My old T used to use one story I'd told her as an example to Ts she supervised of parents being negligent and disengaged... that should tell me it's real I guess, but I'm still really not sure.
Anyway, my T has suggested that I do some research/reading about the effects of neglect and disengaged mothers etc. She is going to do the same this week. I've done a lot of reading on abuse/neglect but straight neglect (without abuse) seems to be ignored a lot in the things I've read. Can anyone suggest anything? Books, websites, journal articles... I'm open to anything.
Some of my self destructive urges (self-injury) are cropping up again by talking about all this with my T. (I saw her today). Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to drag all this up. If I was fairly stable without digging into this, why dig? Ugh.
poster:yellowbird01
thread:886864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/886864.html