Posted by Kath on March 19, 2009, at 8:49:16
Sorry - sort of long....
Don't know if any of you remember or knew of a situation back in October when my son had rented a basement apartment & the cat-pee smell didn't get removed when landlady tried. Hubby & son & I tried various methods. He'd paid first & last month's rent & we were frantic.
I'd contacted the by-law office & it turned out to be an 'illegal' apt. & the landlady gave son back $400 but wouldn't give him back his other $400 (first & last). He hadn't even LIVED there!!! She sort of tricked him into sending her an email saying that he'd rented it as storage space - he didn't think she'd give him back anything unless he did & she had told him she'd be giving him both cheques back.
So I waited until after Christmas, as she even had to post-date the $400. (She'd already spent all the $$) Sent her a letter saying if she didn't pay I'd have no option but to contact by-law office.
So I learned yesterday that she told them it was storage space & as the town has no power over storage space, they can't do anything. I feel very angry & helpless about it. I actually felt DREADFUL all day until I saw the counsellor. My son had sort of written it off long ago. This is a 'me' thing. I hate to see people cheat others.
Anyway, went to our family counsellor through son's mental health program yesterday & filled out a CBT Thought REcord sheet & realized that this triggered OLD stuff about betrayal, of all things (re: the woman in ex-husband's affair) as well as a jarring difference in landlady's & my value-systems!!!
I'm going to send her a letter basically saying that I still have the hope that she will do the right thing...and that she'll know what the right thing is if she puts her son in my son's position & treats my son as she would wish to have her son treated!!!!!! She seemed to be DEVOTED to her son! I think I'll be able to 'let go of it' then.
But I was shocked that my intense feelings had to do with the affair stuff being triggered!! Bigtime!! It makes me think of all the 'stuff' I have (& that most people do) that can get triggered & make us feel awful!!
Jeez.
Kath
poster:Kath
thread:886039
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/886039.html