Posted by TherapyGirl on February 20, 2009, at 19:56:59
In reply to Re: Worse than ever, posted by backseatdriver on February 20, 2009, at 9:20:50
I think you're right, BSD. Friend is definitely ambivalent (and feels pressured and like there are unfair expectations on her) and I'm all bonded and attached because it took me so long to get to the place where I COULD be bonded and attached. Unbelievably long. Unbelievably hard work. And for what???????
It's interesting how you interpreted that remark. When I called her on it today, she said it wasn't directed at me, she was just telling me what someone said to her one time. Funny, though -- she was telling me that when we were talking about MY mental illness and MY behavior. There was no other way to interpret it.
She also says that when she came downstairs at the beach to check on me that she gave me every opportunity to talk to her. That she expressed concern for me. What she actually did was stand at the bottom of the stairs, about 10 feet away from me and said, "Are you ignoring us?" Does anyone else see the difference between "What's going on with you and how can I help?" (support) and "Are you ignoring us?" (criticism).
And I can't let go of it. Even when I know all of you and my T are right about her. Even in those moments when I know it. I still can't let go and I still feel abandoned and unbelievably hurt and sad and depressed.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:881247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881386.html