Posted by backseatdriver on February 19, 2009, at 19:20:30
In reply to Q about appropriate t questions (possibly trigger), posted by petunia on February 19, 2009, at 18:51:51
Petunia, welcome! I love your name. Petunias are one of my favorites in the garden.
I think you should shop around some more if you have the time. This person missed important signals from you. You set a boundary by asking why he needed to know, and he just barreled on through and responded to you not empathically, as he should have, but obsessionally, which is a technical error and dangerous for you because he could have retraumatized you.
I don't think he *meant* to hurt you, but he certainly *did* hurt you, which suggests to me that he's got a problem dealing carefully and empathically with intense material. He can't control his own responses -- his anxiety and fear -- enough to stay off your triggers. If there's time and energy to look around some more, I would do it. You deserve better.
Yours,
BSD
poster:backseatdriver
thread:881155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881163.html