Posted by petunia on February 19, 2009, at 18:51:51
Hi all, I am new to this forum but have been lurking a bit. I have a question for you, any serious response welcome.
I have complex PTSD and just went to see a new therapist to continue EMDR therapy. I would have preferred a woman, but this guy was the only other EMDR therapist available, so I had no real choice. The last therapist, whom I saw for a year and made a lot of progress with, there was a conflict of interest and is no longer an option. I am going specifically to address some specific triggers that are keeping me from working; once I can go back to work I can pick my own therapist.
So today I went in to see the new guy. He's taking a history, asking questions, and when I duly affirmed that I had a history of physical and sexual abuse as a child, he started asking me all these very intense direct questions regarding the sexual abuse: what did he do? was it penetration? was it intercourse? did I tell anyone?
I answered as far as I could stand, but it shocked and startled me so much I started crying and shook my head no... and then he kept on asking me! I asked him why he needed these details, and he just said he needed them. I had to insist several times that he had no need to know the details and I am not willing to give them. I found myself defending this position, and explaining that for me to give him a picture means seeing the picture myself... but shouldn't he know that already?
The things I am remembering in EMDR are not sexual in nature, so as far as I am concerned he really does not need these details. But he jumped on the sex stuff so quickly I never got a chance to tell him.
To be honest, I didn't *feel* anything icky or prurient from him; I thought maybe he was asking because he thought he needed to, and after the third time he backed off. But frankly -- and this is why I am asking you all -- I don't *feel* a lot of things! And I am especially good at missing the initial overtones of abusive situations. Especially when someone stomps on a trigger, and that is one. As soon as he started diving into all that sexual detail, I lost my adult bearing and never got it back for the remainder of the session.
My question here is, how does this questioning strike you? Ignorant mistake, or inappropriate and try to find another therapist?
I'm supposed to see him again on Monday. If I decide it's an ignorant mistake, then I will walk in and set some very clear boundaries. If I decide it's just not a good sign, I will find someone else.
All comments welcome. Thanks for hearing me out --
Petunia (sorry for the dippy name; it was the best I could come up with at short notice :)
poster:petunia
thread:881155
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/881155.html