Posted by TherapyGirl on February 5, 2009, at 19:00:57
In reply to More triggers, posted by TherapyGirl on February 4, 2009, at 17:16:43
One day I'm going to be able to respond individually to you again. Thank you so much for the continued support. I really don't know how I would have made it through the past two weeks without you guys. You got me through another tough night last night and helped me especially remember that my T doesn't hate me. So much so that tonight I told her I needed to talk to her about last night. I apologized first and we talked about how I'm cycling this time (very unusual for me) and how first the crying and now the anger escalate almost to the point of no return with no warning. I told her that I appreciated her speaking up and getting me to stop and that was what I needed, but I needed her to do it in a way that wouldn't filter through as rejection and abandonment. We talked about what she said and she told me what her intention was and then we agreed on a way for her to say that in the future that won't sound so harsh to me when my brain is like this. She also said that she didn't think I owed her an apology; that she wasn't offended by what I said (but the way she worded it last night, that's how it sounded). Anyway, things are okay between us.
The depression is, of course, ever present and I continue to cycle from moderate to severe with no warning. It is wearing on me in every way possible. My best friend, who still isn't really speaking to me, did allow me to hang out with her dog at my house this afternoon. He is a therapy dog and the best animal I've ever known. I'm not really a pet person, but this dog is something special. And he doesn't care if I'm not funny or particularly pleasant to be around. He just sits or lies beside me and lets me feel his heart beat while I rub his tummy. It is unbelievably calming for me.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:878030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/878302.html