Posted by Dinah on January 31, 2009, at 17:44:15
In reply to Re: Gameplaying, posted by Looney Tunes on January 31, 2009, at 13:32:12
I think Sunny said it well.
I really don't call him that often anymore. But this past week I happened to call him twice. Once I was totally losing it and had he not picked up, I'd have asked him to call. And hope he would do it quickly.
The second time was to apologize, because I thought I had maybe annoyed him or upset him during the session, and I was obsessing about it. Clearly I was still upset, and clearly I could have used some reassurance so I could let go of that portion of being upset. But I didn't absolutely need him to call back, and waiting for him would have just made me more upset. Then I'd have likely gotten annoyed with him, and the cycle would have continued.
Instead, I was able to put it behind me, he called the next morning when he had some time free, not only told me he had been upset not angry, but spent a few moments talking to me about problem solving the situation that had had me upset. And while I was perhaps a teensy bit annoyed he hadn't called the previous day, it was well counterbalanced by the fact that he did return my call and actually was willing to talk longer than I'd expected. And he was happy because he was able to call me, at a time that was convenient to him and without worrying about me.
So that's just two examples of "counting really's" as Michael and Stephanie used to say on Newhart. The first time I really really really needed to talk to him. On the second time, there were a lot less really's.
Another example would be when I want to inform him of something, or just touch base. He really wouldn't need to call me those times. In fact, I might prefer to leave a message and not even have him pick up the phone.
I think it depends on the therapist. My therapist is ok with all those types of calls. Some wouldn't be.
poster:Dinah
thread:876855
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/877425.html