Posted by raisinb on January 23, 2009, at 13:49:28
In reply to Favorite child, posted by antigua3 on January 23, 2009, at 10:17:05
I don't have children. But I don't see how lighting up when you talk about someone, or just the mere fact of openness means you care *more* about your oldest than your other ones. Of course you don't. It just means your relationship is different.
I have a very close friend with whom I'm completely open. We talk about anything and everything, I cry in front of him, and I never doubt his caring for me. In contrast, with my therapist, I edit, repress my feelings, and never really trust her caring for more than a week at a time. But if you asked me whom I cared more about? My therapist would probably win hands down a year ago, now it's more balanced, but I'd still go downhill very, very quickly if I lost her, and I think I could deal okay with a separation from my friend. I think it's because with him, I'm more securely attached, and I don't find it in me to believe that any temporary rupture could be permanent. But level of caring doesn't necessarily have anything to do with that.
poster:raisinb
thread:875590
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/875634.html