Posted by fleeting flutterby on January 10, 2009, at 13:47:19
In reply to Re: What a load of cr##.........!!!, posted by Phillipa on January 10, 2009, at 13:15:20
> What about if the child is told they are the cause of all parent illnesses cause they had to be carried up flights of stairs.<<
----- I would call that installing guilt in a child-- which is abusive-- IMO.
>>Or a sick Mother screaming at you so back that she falls to the floor frothing at the mouth<<
----- this seems like a mother that is WAY ouot of control-- nothing to do with the child.
>> and then when ill she has you hold her head over the toilet telling you a blood vessel will burst. And many other scenarios. It seemed as a child that this was normal. Now I know it's not. So what is this called? At T the last one said live in present forget the past? Just wondering. Phillipa<<
I think all these examples are abuse on a child.... it's not a child's ability to cope with such adult situations.... like was said earlier-- the child doesn't have life expereince to deal with such situations as these you have mentioned.
as far as T. saying to live in the present-- yes we should do that-- however, one must get beyond the past in order to live in a healthy way in the present. One shouldn't constantly dwell in the past-- but often the past has got one stuck and so it must be dealt with in order to move out of it.....
I've been stuck for so long-- I've lost my 20's and 30's to being stuck-- I've not accomplished things-- like I didn't finish school, I haven't a career, can't even stay at a job more than 2 years.... I haven't a single IRL friend... i am still stuck as a 10 or 12 or 14 year old.... just stuck.... and I'm tired of just being.... I realized I wasted so much of my life just milling around.... sheesh.... but to break out of this hold-- I have to face the past to learn to move on.....
at least, that's how it is for me anyway.Not sure how it is for you phillipa ..... but I'm here to help you if I can.
flutterby-mandy
poster:fleeting flutterby
thread:872772
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/873176.html