Posted by DAisym on January 8, 2009, at 22:18:38
In reply to Re: What a load of cr##.........!!! » raisinb, posted by fleeting flutterby on January 8, 2009, at 20:32:13
One of the things we hear all the time is, "she is just a baby, she won't remember dad hitting mom, or vice-versa." I'm always shocked by how people think about what kids know or how they handle things.
But - I have to disagree with the relient part. I think kids are amazingly resilient - they figure ways to get their needs met, and believe it or not, mostly they figure it out in non-self-destructive ways. I'm not talking about severe neglect and abuse but the stats are 1 in 6 girls will be molested before they are 20 and most of them have fairly normal lives. What seems to matter most is the "after." What happened after a traumatic experience? Did they get to talk about it? Did they feel protected and cared for? Did it happen over and over again - like certain painful medical procedures? And a big one - how much control did they have after? Kids who were allowed to set boundaries and were helped to self-regulate do much better.
Sorry to get all academia here. It is such an important topic about dismissing our own behavior because "they are just kids." But I don't want to not acknowledge how amazing kids are either.
I'm glad you got it out. What's next from your stream?
poster:DAisym
thread:872772
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872871.html