Posted by Wittgensteinz on December 24, 2008, at 4:46:33
In reply to Re: Reflections (could be **triggering**), posted by onceupon on December 23, 2008, at 9:47:25
Onceupon,
I think your perceptions on memory are accurate. Certainly anxiety affects my memory too. My memory for what goes on in my sessions is good but as you said, I tend to look back placing a negative spin on things. I can let more or less anything flip into the negative if I think about it long enough.
I think suicide (as a topic) is something a lot of therapists shy away from - perhaps they feel that by talking about it one is opening a box or taking one step closer to doing something about it. I think this is wrong though. Things left unspoken, in my experience, can cause the most harm. With my therapist too, this is a difficult topic. He wants me to talk about it but when I do he's even gone as far as to say something mildly condescending in response; "well you're the expert on suicide" - which irritated me, and I later brought him up on it. I think he's still angry about it, I don't know - but I imagine it is inevitable I will return to that nag at some point with him.I read your separate thread - I think that was a huge milestone to accomplish: showing your anger, dispelling the illusion that your therapist is perfect. I can see why repeatedly having to do that exercise (psychodrama?) would make one angry. It sounded like it was more something to satisfy her need/desire to sooth that younger part of you.
I don't know why the shift in motivation (maybe this time because I'm doing it for me and not doing something to try and please my mother) - while I was a student in Oxford I was as motivated to study as a mouse might be to abandon a cheese castle! Now I think of that book 'Who moved my cheese?'
Witti
poster:Wittgensteinz
thread:870249
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870607.html